Today is the first day of my new life. I’m done with failing and feeling down, I wanna live carefree and be happy. I don’t even know why today.. I mean, the date is so random and all, I usually like to start something at the very first day of the week or month. But today just feels right!
Oh God, I feel awful. I’ve let myself downfall again. I keep eating and therefore getting bigger and bigger day by day. :(
I knew coming home for the weekend would mess up my diet and all, and it did.
I mean, all the ice-cream I had yesterday.. oh god why.
But, I weighed myself today and the scale said 63, only a few days ago in the city I was 65… So I’m not quite sure which one is lying. Because I sure as hell haven’t lost two kilos just in two days.. nope, those kind of things just don’t happen to me.
Also, I am very sick and I’ll be staying home for even longer… I really hope I won’t lose the track…
I’ve been fasting for 12 days now (exept the cucumber thing one day) and yesterday I went out drinking… Bad idea!! Ate loads of ice-cream today… But that’s all. I’ll continue my fast. (:
Why are all the people I know so f*cking skinny and gorgeous? :((( Why do I have to be the fat, ugly one? :/
Lately, I’ve been smoking way more often than I used to. I wouldn’t say it takes away the hunger or the cravings, but it sure does help me with my diet. I actually used to eat more back when I smoked less. So this is a good thing, I think. :)
Going home for the weekend…
Not sure if this is a good thing or bad… I’ve always f*cked my diets up while being in the countryside. My mum loves to bake and she always makes such a delicious meals and desserts… I’m kinda terrified… Really, I am. I need to think of excuses not to eat with my family and I’ll probably try to spend as much time outside as I can.
wishing my life away…
- I wish I had the money to travel around the world…
- I wish I didn’t feel so alone all the time…
- I wish I had the body to walk on a beach in a bikini with confidence…
- I wish I had the boyfriend that would treat me well and love me…
- I wish I had the parents who would love me and take me as I am…
- I wish I had the friends I could talk about anything without any fear…
- I wish I had the brain to get at least C-s at school without any studying…
- I wish I was happy with my life and myself…
I wish at least some of the above would come true…
Music is my boyfriend and we had a fight so we didn’t talk to each other for 2 days.
Believe it or not, I lived 2 days without any kind of music… you see, my headphones broke and I didn’t have the time to buy new ones untlil today my dad gave me.. So yeah, it IS possible to survive without music after all! :DD
But I wouldn’t exactly recommend it to anyone. (:
